the spirituality of "we do not arrive"

I wonder how many of us believe that there is an "arrival point" in spiritual practice. In my own life, I have found there is only a non-linear angling up toward awakening. I begin to transcend. And yet, I do not transcend permanently. Something happens and I once-again butt up against the edges of a real, raw life. I grapple with this because it looked like the weather had changed. As it often does, just before the storm pounds at the gate with even greater fervor.

Even so, in knowing this, I am still an optimist. The spirituality of "we do not arrive" for me, is not threaded together by the misplaced idea that transcendence is not possible... but instead, that life itself is bolstered by long exhales that bring just the smallest bit of it back in.

Which leads me to also wonder how many of us would feel a deeper contentment and satisfaction of sorts if we understood that the spiritual practice is the life. Living it. Rising above it. And then, digging back in.

Endurance and exhale hand in hand.

Pause and patience woven into the same web.

In my personal experience, spiritual practice is welcoming my community to speak life into my life when my bones sing an old song that I would rather not hear. My spiritual practice is eating clean food all week and then, when the hunger pangs get too loud and I've forgotten I have better snacks, my hand plunges deep into the bag of (organic) chips... and, I forgive myself. Forgive as in laugh at my choice like a child that has discovered something new... again. My relationship with the bag is not as the end point. But instead, another lesson on the road. And, my spiritual practice is yes, I did say something I regret and then, letting the regret ooze out through my fingertips as shake them, loosening the grip that wants me to also say this must be who I am.

Instead, I make amends.

Here is what I know thus far: we do not often transcend the everyday challenges of this lifetime. And, with time and energy and love poured-into the spaces with sharp corners, we also do not find ourselves permanently pained.

I believe there is a certain softening of us when we realize that - at any moment - we can decide to make a different choice, think a different thought, go a different route, love ourselves (and thus the world) even better - even more.

And in those moments, we do transcend even if we do not arrive.

Just the words, "I decide" can be empowering, darling soul.

We mustn't forget we have a say and a choice.